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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Get Real

Before you had surgery were you accountable for what you put in your mouth? I wasn't. I admit it. I ate a lot. I earned every pound I put on my body. I earned every size I went up. I'll be real here. I'm not proud of it at all.

Dinner before surgery was often fast food. I grew up in a house where regular meals were not the norm. Once I got my first job, my pocket money was spent on food. I'd even stop sometimes on the way home from work in the evenings and pick up fast food just for snacks. Before surgery, Thursday nights were spent watching Survivor or Apprentice, inhaling a container of Haagen Daz Caramel Cone Explosion ice cream. The whole container. My hubby was trained that if I had a very stressful day at work, that was he was to go to the corner store and get that for me.

As well, before I had surgery, I started to hide food from hubby. I'd sneak in ice cream bought on the way home, eat it, hide it and then put in the garbage (with other stuff on top to hide the evidence). I could eat normal meals but chips, chocolate and junk food, particularly McDonalds were a regular part of my life. I'm not proud of it but I'm honest.

Incidentally, I did buy a container of it when I was at about the three year mark. It made me sicker than a dog after less than half a cup. I pretty much poured the rest down the sink.

Now, if I have a "sundae" it is a one scooper. Anything more pretty much makes me sick. A chocolate dip cone is a once in a while treat but even that is a small. I tend to be more "purist" when I have ice cream - all the "stuff" that they add to it now (caramel, pieces of stuff, chocolate chunks -- all that just makes me sick and my reactive hypoglycemia can only handle little bits of that at a time. One cone is the maximum now and again. I pretty much go out for the one scoop. I don't bring ice cream into the house much - I'm well aware of my limits that way.

I see a lot of people going through their journey that are not honest with themselves and I wonder when they are going to develop a sense of accountability for their weight.  I over ate.  I ate a lot. I didn't exist on salads.  I won't lie about my habits.  I gained weight because of the choices I made.  It worries me when people say "I barely eat", yet I weigh 300 lbs.  There has to be something else there. 

Seriously? I cannot help but worry about people who aren't honest with themselves and their eating habits.  I grew up on crap. I had a mother that didn't like to cook. We had weird eating patterns at our house. No one ever ate a meal together.  We only ate potatoes and corn as vegetables. I swear I was in my 20s before I tried broccoli.  We don't get to be 200, 300, 400 lbs for nothing. I was 290 lbs at my heaviest, I had some meds that were known to cause weight gain but I'm also well aware that I just did not make the healthiest choices either. I LIKE food. I ate too much of it. I ate some healthy foods as well but even when I ate that, I ate too much. I would have 3 chicken fajitas (fairly healthy) but I'd also slather them in sour cream. (yum!). I'd eat a Tim Horton's muffin for breakfast which didn't seem like a ton of food but of course, when you read the stats for the muffin on calories or fat alone, they are pretty horrific.

This other lady online that I know eats Tim Horton's muffin for breakfast every day. She is 6 months out of surgery. You might not think it can happen but YES you can lose track of what you are eating even after surgery if you are not held accountable in some way. The longer out of surgery you are, the more "skewed" you can get about what you are eating. That's why you'll often hear "I'm 5 years out and I've gained 50 lbs". It's EASY!!! Far easier than you can imagine!

Do the Weight Watchers points plus system for one week and you'll see how much you eat. It's a great way to be accountable. You get 29 points a day ---- if you have the muffin it is 11 points! That's A LOT of points out of a daily total. Then you get to see just how not "healthy" they are. Worse yet a medium ice capp is 12 points and this is only a drink!  It is amazing how you can easily lose track of yourself even out of surgery. Eventually you get a 'skewed' sense of reality again of what you should be eating.

And while the first year, you'll lose pretty much no matter how hard you screw up....the second, third, fourth year....they are not nearly as forgiving. So if you feel like you are getting further down the road and you are getting off track, find a way to measure what you are doing. Find a way to keep yourself in check because it is very easy to get off track.

If that happens, it's time to go back to Overeaters anonymous, Weight Watchers, or getting out the old Canada food guide or counting calories again. Scary how quickly we can lose our sense of touch with food again even after surgery!Or do the Canada food guide, measure, weigh and see where you stand. You have to get a REAL idea of what you are doing wrong before you'll make great strides in making in right.


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