There's not a lot that irks me in the online world. I spend much of my free time lurking on OH and reading and admining various wls specific groups on Facebook. I understand the differences between newbies and oldtimers like myself and the different ways that we see the world. There's generally not that bothers me, but there is one phrase that bothers me and I'll explain why today.
When people post their weight loss, I often see the phrase "100 lbs gone forever". This is the phrase that bothers me. It might seem strange but I feel that when we engage in talk of forever that we are taking something for granted. We are taking our weight loss for granted. Early out in the honeymoon period, we get this sense of invincibility because life is smooth, temptations are low and hunger is low. We think that life is going to be that way forever.
Tis not so for most of us.
I've gained back 10 lbs. 15 lbs, 20 lbs, 25 lbs. I know that it is not necessarily FOREVER.
This is DAMN hard work. It is hard to keep our mind always on what we should be doing. It is difficult to keep our demons away. It is hard to stop eating emotionally when you've done so for 10, 20 or 30 years. It's not all rainbows and unicorns.
Eventually you realize that this is WORK. For the rest of your life nonetheless.
And it is easy to slip into old habits. Very easy.
It's very easy to become unfocused, to be unaccountable and to avoid the scale.
This is FOREVER, not just for one year.
And hunger returns. And life goes on. The compliments stop coming. Motivation wanes.
I want to scream and shake people and say "Don't say FOREVER. You don't know how EASY it is to do!!".
Don't take anything for granted. Don't think that you can just do "moderation" when you sucked so badly before at it. KEEP THE TRIGGERS OUT.
I want to say that dessert shouldn't even be in your vocabulary at 4 weeks out. You shouldn't be having a cookie! If you think it's a challenge now, wait until year three or four or eight or twelve. Keep it out.
When you are a long timer, you see so many people struggling early. You see people that are failing. You want to reach out and say "Don't go there!!!!". Stay the course. Don't give in yet!! Get to goal. You want people to succeed. You want people to do better than you and not to struggle with food demons. It's hard. You know what it's like when after a year, you started having goodies again. You see people digging into Pandora's box far, far too early.
But then you shut up because you know that newbies won't understand. They'll think that you are just being mean and not letting them enjoy a "small bite" of everything because they think that their small pouch will keep them in line forever. *sigh*.
It's a different mindset.
At 7.5 years out, and around 15 lbs up at the moment over my goal, I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm pissed that I have to get back to all the incredible hard work it takes to lose the weight now at this juncture. It's not the same as the first year. It's a huge ass kicking to even lose a lb or two now. It blows the mind how much effort it takes to lose when a gain can be acquired from a bad weekend.
Feeling a little down...but I've done it so many times before - pick myself up, dust myself off and begin again. It gets a little tiring though to be honest. I just want to know how to do this whole damn moderation thing successfully after many years of yo yo-ing up and down the same 5, 10, 15 etc pounds.
What a pisser :(
Ah well. Here's to new beginnings yet again....