11 Years Post Op Update

Well...it's amazing but it has been more than 11 years now since I've had my roux en y surgery!

11 years ago I laid on an operating table in a different country USA - Michigan (I'm in Canada) and allowed some stranger to slice and dice my insides in hopes to be a healthier, smaller me. I was taking a huge chance - I had very few comorbidities - and was the healthiest fat person I knew. Would I be making a change for the better...or for worse? 

My first year was an amazing ride! I waited for the horrible dumping and vomiting but in actuality, my post op life was, quite frankly, a breeze. Life was good. Reflections in mirrors gave me pleasure when I saw my smaller frame. I felt like I could conquer the world.

I was amazed to know that I conquered obesity! Life was normal and I was a normal sized person! I knew that no one could stop me. I would never ever go back. 148 lbs gone forever!!

Or were they? 

Flash forward year 2 when the weight loss roller coaster found me again. Twenty pounds added to my frame felt like a hundred. I felt like I had failed. I wanted to smack my head against the wall. I was failing and my binge was back. I felt out of control and cried on the scale. How did obesity beat me again I wondered!? Time for therapy...

The next year, 5-10? pounds lost. I felt like I had the key to the "get the pounds off" mystery. I had control again. I was going to kick butt again. I would win. 

Well you can repeat this whole gain-weight -and -lose weight cycle about a million times and then you'll know where I currently stand at year 11. I've gone as high as 31 lbs over my goal (just as recently as about four months ago) to about 5 over my highest (maybe 5 years ago?). Where I am at on the scale can vary at any given moment.....

One thing I know is that weight loss surgery has not solved my weight problem. It did not stop my food issues. I continue to battle the binge from time to time. I go through cycles of being perfectly on plan to imperfectly in self destruct mode. Eventually the scale keeps me grounded, kicks my butt and tells me to stop wasting my gift, to act like a bariatric patient again and to get back on program. 

The key for me will be to always keep trying to renew my journey. I cannot afford to give up on myself. I have to keep trying to reinvent me. I must keep telling my truth and sharing my truth with others. I have to keep talking about the reality that life is not perfect post weight loss surgery, that the battle continues and that regain is real and not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of a battle that we are often still engaged with. It's a sign that we are human and that we are still dealing and coping. 

Overall, weight loss surgery had been an amazing gift. I would not ever go back to a life of obesity. I have been blessed a thousand times over with the ability to be more mobile, to be medication free and to stay amazingly healthy. But it does not mean that life is easy or perfect and that weight is never an issue again. 

So every day I get into my suit of armour and prepare to wage the war against my obesity. Most days I win. Some days I fall down, hard. But I always pull myself up, dust myself off and get back on track. There is no magic, no miracles. It's just hard work, discipline and choices made. 

And it's quite frankly: One... day...at...a....time.

Happy 11 to me. :-)

Thanks for all of those who have supported me, befriended me and have provided support, kind words or friendship. I couldn't have handled the ups and downs without you all.

Please continue to SHARE YOUR TRUTH!!!

If you need any support in your journey and you feel like I could help you please feel free to add me. Just message me though so I know you aren't a spammer.